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« CEO Morning Report
When Life Gives You Potatoes
You can make mash. That’s what fugitive hedgie Samuel Israel did, scrawling "Suicide is Painless" — the theme song from the "M*A*S*H" television show, on the hood of his car as part of a faked suicide. On the lam no more, he surrendered to Massachusetts authorities yesterday. It’s no tater tots for either Martin Sullivan or Dick Grasso. For his 37 years of service to A.I.G., recently departed CEO Sullivan walks away with a handsome $47 million severance package, while ex-NYSE chief Grasso, despite Eliot Spitzer’s best efforts, gets to keep the hotly contested $139.5 million he amassed over eight years at the Big Board. In Russia, it’s frozen turnips for Robert Dudley, chief executive of the TNK-British Petroleum joint venture, which accounts for about a quarter of BP’s global oil output. Their work permits not renewed, Dudley and many of his team are being shown the exit door by their TNK partners, a consortium of Russian billionaires who surely want control of the lucrative venture. GM may need to oil up by as much as $15 billion to avoid bankruptcy, Starbucks is going short on beans with a 600-store reduction, and the vegetable medley continues with a bitter root against Bill Gates from Time. The title says it all—PC Genius, Internet Fool—coming out as the MicroHoo crudite tray gets put out on the deal table yet again. Writes Time: “The smartest move Gates could make right now is to get out of the way. (Steve Ballmer should, too; pursuing Yahoo is a pretty good hint that his master plan for the Web is, like Gates's was, to try to buy Microsoft's way into the game.)” You want fries with that? Jeff Heilman 7/3/08
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